Zombies are fictional undead creatures regularly encountered in horror and fantasy themed works. They are typically depicted as mindless, reanimated corpses with a hunger for human flesh, and in some cases, human brains in particular. Although they share their name and some superficial similarities with the zombie from Haitian Vodun, their links to such folklore are unclear and many consider George A. Romero's seminal film The Night of the Living Dead to be the progenitor of these creatures. By 2011 the influence of zombies in popular consciousness had reached far enough that government agencies were using them to garner greater attention in public service messages.
Evolution of the zombie archetype
The flesh-hungry undead have been a fixture of world mythology dating at least since The Epic of Gilgamesh, in which the goddess Ishtar promises:
I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,
I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,
and will let the dead go up to eat the living!
And the dead will outnumber the living!
Folklore about revenants and vampires, rotting corpses that would rise from the dead and consume the living, has existed for centuries. Undead creatures appear in Norse mythology and include the draugr, which is a reanimated corpse that roams outside of its grave to attack, eat, and infect the living. A human that is killed by a draugr is destined to become a draugr, as evident in the Eyrbyggja Saga when a shepherd is killed by a draugr.
The actor T. P. Cooke as Frankenstein's Monster in an 1823 stage production of the novel
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, while not a zombie novel proper, prefigures many 20th century ideas about zombies in that the resurrection of the dead is portrayed as a scientific process rather than a mystical one, and that the resurrected dead are degraded and more violent than their living selves. Frankenstein, published in 1818, has its roots in European folklore, whose tales of vengeful dead also informed the evolution of the modern conception of vampires as well as zombies. Later notable 19th century stories about the avenging undead included Ambrose Bierce's "The Death of Halpin Frayser", and various Gothic Romanticism tales by Edgar Allan Poe. Though their works couldn't be properly considered zombie fiction, the supernatural tales of Bierce and Poe would prove influential on later undead-themed writers such as H. P. Lovecraft, by Lovecraft's own admission.
In the 1920s and early 1930s, the American horror author H. P. Lovecraft wrote several novelettes that explored the undead theme from different angles. "Cool Air", "In the Vault", and "The Outsider" all deal with the undead, but the most definitive "zombie-type" story in Lovecraft's oeuvre was 1921's Herbert West–Reanimator, which "helped define zombies in popular culture". This Frankenstein-inspired series featured Herbert West, a mad scientist who attempts to revive human corpses with mixed results. Notably, the resurrected dead are uncontrollable, mostly mute, primitive and extremely violent; though they are not referred to as zombies, their portrayal was prescient, anticipating the modern conception of zombies by several decades.
The 1936 film Things to Come, based on the novel by H. G. Wells, anticipates later zombie films with an apocalyptic scenario surrounding "the wandering sickness", a highly contagious viral plague that causes the infected to wander slowly and insensibly, very much like zombies, infecting others on contact Though this film's direct influence on later films isn't known, Things to Come is still compared favorably by some critics to modern zombie movies.
Avenging zombies would feature prominently in the early 1950s EC Comics such as Tales from the Crypt, which George A. Romero would later claim as an influence. The comics, including Tales, Vault of Horror and Weird Science, featured avenging undead in the Gothic tradition quite regularly, including adaptations of Lovecraft's stories which included "In the Vault", "Cool Air" and Herbert West–Reanimator.
The 1954 publication of I Am Legend, by author Richard Matheson, would further influence the zombie genre. It is the story of a future Los Angeles, overrun with undead bloodsucking beings. Notable as influential on the zombie genre is the portrayal of a worldwide apocalypse due to the infestation, in addition to the initial conception of vampirism as a disease (a scenario comparable to recent zombie media such as Resident Evil). The novel was a success, and would be adapted to film as The Last Man on Earth in 1964, as The Omega Man in 1971, and again in 2007 as I Am Legend.
Although classified as a vampire story and referred to as "the first modern vampire novel", Legend had definitive impact on the zombie genre by way of George A. Romero. Romero was heavily influenced by the novel and its 1964 adaptation when writing the film Night of the Living Dead, by his own admission. Critics have also noted extensive similarities between Night and Last Man on Earth, indicating further influence.
In 1968, George A. Romero released his low-budget film Night of the Living Dead, a taboo-breaking, genre-defining work that would prove to be more influential on the concept of zombies than any literary or cinematic work before it.
The name "zombie"
How these creatures came to be called "zombies" is not fully clear. Night of the Living Dead made no reference to them as "zombies", describing them instead as "ghouls". However, the word zombie is used continually by Romero in his 1978 script for his sequel Dawn of the Dead, including once in dialog. This "retroactively fits (the creatures) with an invisible Haitian/African prehistory, formally introducing the zombie as a new archetype". It has been argued however that the name is not truly applicable to these creatures because the zombie of Hatian Vodun is not a monster, but a victim.
One of the first books to expose western culture to the concept of the Vodun zombie was The Magic Island by W.B. Seabrook in 1929. Island is the sensationalized account of a narrator in Haiti who encounters voodoo cults and their resurrected thralls. Time claimed that the book "introduced 'zombi' into U.S. speech".
In 1932, Victor Halperin directed White Zombie, a horror film starring Bela Lugosi. This film, capitalizing on the same voodoo zombie themes as Seabrook's book of three years prior, is often regarded as the first legitimate zombie film ever made. Here zombies are depicted as mindless, unthinking henchmen under the spell of an evil magician. Zombies, often still using this voodoo-inspired rationale, were initially uncommon in cinema, but their appearances continued sporadically through the 1930s to the 1960s, with notable films including I Walked With a Zombie (1943) and the infamous Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959).
In his article, "The Evolution of the Zombie: the Monster That Keeps Coming Back", Shawn McIntosh notes that, "even after the traditional zombie largely disappeared from the screen, there was still a strong fascination with the word", and that "zombie" came to be applied to a wide variety of disfigured or deformed creatures throughout the 50s and 60s. However, even as they began to take on the shabbier, corpselike characteristics of later "zombies", these creatures always followed the Voodoo convention of being controlled by a master.
Zombie apocalypse
The zombie apocalypse is a particular scenario of apocalyptic fiction that customarily has a science fiction/horror rationale. In a zombie apocalypse, a widespread (usually global) rise of zombies hostile to human life engages in a general assault on civilization. Victims of zombies may become zombies themselves. This causes the outbreak to become an exponentially growing crisis: the spreading "zombie plague/virus" swamps normal military and law enforcement organizations, leading to the panicked collapse of civilian society until only isolated pockets of survivors remain, scavenging for food and supplies in a world reduced to a pre-industrial hostile wilderness.
The literary subtext of a zombie apocalypse is usually that civilization is inherently fragile in the face of truly unprecedented threats and that most individuals cannot be relied upon to support the greater good if the personal cost becomes too high, The narrative of a zombie apocalypse carries strong connections to the turbulent social landscape of the United States in the 1960s when the originator of this genre, the film Night of the Living Dead, was first created. Many also feel that zombies allow people to deal with their own anxiety about the end of the world. In fact the breakdown of society as a result of zombie infestation has been portrayed in countless zombie-related media since Night of the Living Dead. One scholar concluded that "more than any other monster, zombies are fully and literally apocalyptic ... they signal the end of the world as we have known it."
Due to a large number of thematic films and video games, the idea of a zombie apocalypse has entered the mainstream and there have been efforts by many fans to prepare for the hypothetical future zombie apocalypse. Efforts include creating weapons and selling posters to inform people on how to survive a zombie outbreak.
References:
1. Zombie (fictional). Wikipedia, February 27, 2012. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/zombie_(fictional)>
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Zombie Scenario
How did it happen? There are a few ways this could've happened:
Maybe the zombies came from another planet. Maybe some asshole read a spell book that made the dead come back to life. Maybe someone fucked up at the Pet Cemetery. But the most likely and popular way for a zombie outbreak to happen is to have a mad scientist, well... go mad. He was probably mixing chemicals that were clearly marked "Do Not Mix" while smoking hookah and watching Telemundo. The he gave some of the liquid to his pet gorilla, chimpanzee, tiger, or turtle to test it. When the test subject of choice started foaming at the mouth and had its eyes turn red, the genius with his Ph.D. didn't call the police. He probably just let it out thinking it needed some fresh air. Then...
Bam! The scientist was bit, and now he's a zombie.
Just a few short weeks later, 6 million people have become infected with ZV-10 (Zombie Virus 2010), and the number is growing rapidly. You are one of the very few survivors.
So what should you do?
Well, if you're not a complete idiot, you should already be prepared for this. You should have a huge arsenal of weapons, ammo, and some kind of cover (like a bunker). If no, then you need to hurry your ass up and get something... quick. A baseball bat, an axe, a shovel, a crowbar... these all work. But they're slow, and they don't guarantee a kill.
If you need protection, here's what to consider:
If you're fast, I would recommend something small and lightweight, like a handgun. They're comfortable and you can take them anywhere easily.
If you're on the larger side, get something that'll let let you mow down zombies left and right with ease. A rifle should do the trick. Pick up something basic like an AR-15. They're rapid fire and strong enough to stop a good-sized gang of zombies.
If you're just plain bad-ass, then get yourself a 12-gauge shotgun. Sure, they're slow and big, but dammit you're not goin' down while looking like a nancy boy with a .22 caliber pistol in your hand. Note: Don't be a hero. If you don't think you're bad-ass enough for a shotgun, don't use one.
Where should you go? Isolation and walls are key.
The worst thing you can do is stay in your house. Houses have thin walls, weak doors, and windows. Don't go thinking you'll just board it up and kick it there. Zombies will tear right through that. What you need to do is get away... far away. While zombies are fast, they don't know how to drive. So get all the necessary supplies (food, water, weapons, Playboys, etc.), throw them in your car, and get the hell out of there. And you probably don't have to worry about speed limits at this point.
Now here's where it gets tricky.
If you live in a coastal state, then you have a much better chance of surviving. All you lucky bastards have to do is find a boat dock, steal a boat, and find the nearest island. You can build a small house there and live off your dehydrated food and water until it's safe to return. Just remember, it'll be first come, first serve for the boats. So don't drag your feet.
For those of you living in a landlocked state, well... shit happens. Finding protection won't be as easy for you. Assuming you don't have the time or resources to drive to the nearest coast right away, the smartest thing to do would be to find a place underground. If you can find a concrete bunker with thick walls and a beefy door, you should be fine. Being up high might work too, but good luck finding anything at you can live in for weeks or months at a time.
So you've got your hiding place... Are you safe? Not necessarily.
Zombies don't only bite humans. They'll want to bite whatever moves. So think birds, dogs, cats, and even fish. You better be practicing your shot with those guns you picked up, because birds aren't the easiest things in the world to shoot. Especially when they've become mentally insane due to ZV-10.
And hey you, on that island over there, think twice before taking a dip in the ocean. Those fish could be infected, and they just might be looking for a victim.
Mosquitoes are your biggest enemy (next to the zombies, of course).
Mosquitoes suck blood. Guess how ZV-10 is transferred? If you guessed blood, then you might just survive this thing (but probably not). Unfortunately, mosquitoes can fly. So, just because you made it to that island 20 miles offshore doesn't mean you're completely safe. You better watch out for those pesky mosquitoes. You thought they were annoying before? Well shit just got real. I have no idea if insect repellent will work against zombies, but you should lather up just in case.
You survived!
Somehow you managed to make it through all the hordes of zombies, mosquitoes, birds, fish, and whatever else got in your way.
Way to fucking go! But now what? Rebuild, repopulate, reconquer.
You better hope a woman was able to survive all this. Without one, there's no chance to save the once thriving human race.
Should you find a woman to help repopulate the Earth, don't fuck it up.
Now's your chance to fix what was wrong with the world. You and your woman will be the leaders of the society you build. Teach that society values that will make the world a better place. Create the world that we all want to live in, but are unable to. You have the power to fix what was broken.
Maybe the zombies came from another planet. Maybe some asshole read a spell book that made the dead come back to life. Maybe someone fucked up at the Pet Cemetery. But the most likely and popular way for a zombie outbreak to happen is to have a mad scientist, well... go mad. He was probably mixing chemicals that were clearly marked "Do Not Mix" while smoking hookah and watching Telemundo. The he gave some of the liquid to his pet gorilla, chimpanzee, tiger, or turtle to test it. When the test subject of choice started foaming at the mouth and had its eyes turn red, the genius with his Ph.D. didn't call the police. He probably just let it out thinking it needed some fresh air. Then...
Bam! The scientist was bit, and now he's a zombie.
Just a few short weeks later, 6 million people have become infected with ZV-10 (Zombie Virus 2010), and the number is growing rapidly. You are one of the very few survivors.
So what should you do?
Well, if you're not a complete idiot, you should already be prepared for this. You should have a huge arsenal of weapons, ammo, and some kind of cover (like a bunker). If no, then you need to hurry your ass up and get something... quick. A baseball bat, an axe, a shovel, a crowbar... these all work. But they're slow, and they don't guarantee a kill.
If you need protection, here's what to consider:
If you're fast, I would recommend something small and lightweight, like a handgun. They're comfortable and you can take them anywhere easily.
If you're on the larger side, get something that'll let let you mow down zombies left and right with ease. A rifle should do the trick. Pick up something basic like an AR-15. They're rapid fire and strong enough to stop a good-sized gang of zombies.
If you're just plain bad-ass, then get yourself a 12-gauge shotgun. Sure, they're slow and big, but dammit you're not goin' down while looking like a nancy boy with a .22 caliber pistol in your hand. Note: Don't be a hero. If you don't think you're bad-ass enough for a shotgun, don't use one.
Where should you go? Isolation and walls are key.
The worst thing you can do is stay in your house. Houses have thin walls, weak doors, and windows. Don't go thinking you'll just board it up and kick it there. Zombies will tear right through that. What you need to do is get away... far away. While zombies are fast, they don't know how to drive. So get all the necessary supplies (food, water, weapons, Playboys, etc.), throw them in your car, and get the hell out of there. And you probably don't have to worry about speed limits at this point.
Now here's where it gets tricky.
If you live in a coastal state, then you have a much better chance of surviving. All you lucky bastards have to do is find a boat dock, steal a boat, and find the nearest island. You can build a small house there and live off your dehydrated food and water until it's safe to return. Just remember, it'll be first come, first serve for the boats. So don't drag your feet.
For those of you living in a landlocked state, well... shit happens. Finding protection won't be as easy for you. Assuming you don't have the time or resources to drive to the nearest coast right away, the smartest thing to do would be to find a place underground. If you can find a concrete bunker with thick walls and a beefy door, you should be fine. Being up high might work too, but good luck finding anything at you can live in for weeks or months at a time.
So you've got your hiding place... Are you safe? Not necessarily.
Zombies don't only bite humans. They'll want to bite whatever moves. So think birds, dogs, cats, and even fish. You better be practicing your shot with those guns you picked up, because birds aren't the easiest things in the world to shoot. Especially when they've become mentally insane due to ZV-10.
And hey you, on that island over there, think twice before taking a dip in the ocean. Those fish could be infected, and they just might be looking for a victim.
Mosquitoes are your biggest enemy (next to the zombies, of course).
Mosquitoes suck blood. Guess how ZV-10 is transferred? If you guessed blood, then you might just survive this thing (but probably not). Unfortunately, mosquitoes can fly. So, just because you made it to that island 20 miles offshore doesn't mean you're completely safe. You better watch out for those pesky mosquitoes. You thought they were annoying before? Well shit just got real. I have no idea if insect repellent will work against zombies, but you should lather up just in case.
You survived!
Somehow you managed to make it through all the hordes of zombies, mosquitoes, birds, fish, and whatever else got in your way.
Way to fucking go! But now what? Rebuild, repopulate, reconquer.
You better hope a woman was able to survive all this. Without one, there's no chance to save the once thriving human race.
Should you find a woman to help repopulate the Earth, don't fuck it up.
Now's your chance to fix what was wrong with the world. You and your woman will be the leaders of the society you build. Teach that society values that will make the world a better place. Create the world that we all want to live in, but are unable to. You have the power to fix what was broken.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Surviving a Zombie Outbreak
Step 1: Evade
If a zombie is spotted in the area you must leave immediately to prevent further infection and the possibility of becoming a threat to others. You will very likely have to run over crowds of non-living friends, family, and co-workers, so take the largest automobile you can, and resist the urge to slow down.
Do: Dress in dark or camouflage colors. Recent data suggest that the non-living may confuse camouflage with actual foliage, and zombies do not appear to eat salad. One theory holds that zombies may be afraid of ninjas so black clothing is always a good idea.
Don't: Smell like a brain.
Step 2: Defend
In the unavoidable instance of direct contact with a zombie, it will be necessary for you to defend yourself. While firearms such as large-caliber handguns and automatic rifles may seem the most effective, experience has shown these weapons to be inferior to more common armaments, such as chainsaws, lawnmowers, and baseball bats. Exception being the shotgun, which is violent enough to make the approved list.
Do: Aim for the head. The non-living brain produces no measurable neural activity, but zombies, like cats, will often desist hostilities without it.
Don't: Aim for the legs. While a successful leg shot may prevent the zombie from chasing you, studies show a ninety percent probability of you later tripping over it, whereupon the zombie will bite your ankle and transmit the infection to you.
Step 3: Report
Once safely away from an area of infestation, call the authorities at 888-WUZ-DEAD (989-3323) and report the location and strength of zombie activity.
If a nuclear response is warranted you may be asked to remove yourself as far as 150 feet from the site. Government scientists are pretty sure that zombification is not the result of radiological contamination. So you should be fine as long as you remember to duck and cover.
If phone service is unavailable you may wish to light signal flares or sirens, bonfires or spotlights to alert authorities to your location. In the event that any or all the above also serve to alert the zombie hordes to your location, please repeat steps one through three.
Do: Remember the three steps to survival. Evade, Defend, Report. In the event that you cannon reach the authorities, ask an adult what to do.
Don't: Forget to charge your cell phone. Individuals without a cell phone should carry bagpipes.
If a zombie is spotted in the area you must leave immediately to prevent further infection and the possibility of becoming a threat to others. You will very likely have to run over crowds of non-living friends, family, and co-workers, so take the largest automobile you can, and resist the urge to slow down.
Do: Dress in dark or camouflage colors. Recent data suggest that the non-living may confuse camouflage with actual foliage, and zombies do not appear to eat salad. One theory holds that zombies may be afraid of ninjas so black clothing is always a good idea.
Don't: Smell like a brain.
Step 2: Defend
In the unavoidable instance of direct contact with a zombie, it will be necessary for you to defend yourself. While firearms such as large-caliber handguns and automatic rifles may seem the most effective, experience has shown these weapons to be inferior to more common armaments, such as chainsaws, lawnmowers, and baseball bats. Exception being the shotgun, which is violent enough to make the approved list.
Do: Aim for the head. The non-living brain produces no measurable neural activity, but zombies, like cats, will often desist hostilities without it.
Don't: Aim for the legs. While a successful leg shot may prevent the zombie from chasing you, studies show a ninety percent probability of you later tripping over it, whereupon the zombie will bite your ankle and transmit the infection to you.
Step 3: Report
Once safely away from an area of infestation, call the authorities at 888-WUZ-DEAD (989-3323) and report the location and strength of zombie activity.
If a nuclear response is warranted you may be asked to remove yourself as far as 150 feet from the site. Government scientists are pretty sure that zombification is not the result of radiological contamination. So you should be fine as long as you remember to duck and cover.
If phone service is unavailable you may wish to light signal flares or sirens, bonfires or spotlights to alert authorities to your location. In the event that any or all the above also serve to alert the zombie hordes to your location, please repeat steps one through three.
Do: Remember the three steps to survival. Evade, Defend, Report. In the event that you cannon reach the authorities, ask an adult what to do.
Don't: Forget to charge your cell phone. Individuals without a cell phone should carry bagpipes.
Surviving Infestation
In the event of zombie attack follow these 3 steps to surviving infestation.
1. Avoidance
All zombie infestations render the location uninhabitable. The citizen's first duty is to vacate the area and proceed immediately to an authorized Rescue Station. Duly authorized Zombie Emergency Response Operations (Z.E.R.O.) personnel will manage relocation, but the key to an effective evacuation is complete avoidance of hazardous conditions while en route.
Engage this step only if in an unsecured location, and only if you have positively identified a zombie by using the Zombie Classification Cards. Otherwise, any terminations should be referred to and executed by a duly authorized member of Z.E.R.O. or your local licensed Zombie Exterminator.
After terminating the zombie(s), mark the perimeter to enable Z.E.R.O. Disposal Unit personnel to locate the remains and ship to a Mobile Acid Disintegration (M.A.D.) unit for disintegration. This can be completed in two simple "Tape & Tag" steps:
1. Avoidance
All zombie infestations render the location uninhabitable. The citizen's first duty is to vacate the area and proceed immediately to an authorized Rescue Station. Duly authorized Zombie Emergency Response Operations (Z.E.R.O.) personnel will manage relocation, but the key to an effective evacuation is complete avoidance of hazardous conditions while en route.
- Evacuate: Gather family and essential small valuables only. Do not attempt to secure or defend property or possessions.
- Relocate: Proceed to the Rescue Station assigned to your area. In the absence of Z.E.R.O. Relocation Management personnel, monitor local radio broadcasts for directions.
- Do No Engage: It is critical to remember that any zombies encountered during relocation are not family or friends but reanimated corpses infected with a deadly contagion. Under no circumstances should you engage on in any kind of interaction. Contagion is transmitted via a bite, and any interaction with a zombie results in repeated attempts to bite.
- In the Event of a Bite: Apply pressure to the wound with padding found in the supplied bite kit until proper medical supervision can be accessed. If the wounded individual expires after being bitten, vacate the premises immediately or execute guidelines found in the next section.
Engage this step only if in an unsecured location, and only if you have positively identified a zombie by using the Zombie Classification Cards. Otherwise, any terminations should be referred to and executed by a duly authorized member of Z.E.R.O. or your local licensed Zombie Exterminator.
- Cerebral Neutralization: The only known method for effectively terminating a zombie, either by cranial penetration or blunt force trauma or decapitation.
- Center Mass: For stopping or slowing down target only when distance does not permit a head shot. Not an effective termination method.
- Lower Extremities: For stopping or slowing down target only when distance dos not permit a head shot. Not an effective termination method.
After terminating the zombie(s), mark the perimeter to enable Z.E.R.O. Disposal Unit personnel to locate the remains and ship to a Mobile Acid Disintegration (M.A.D.) unit for disintegration. This can be completed in two simple "Tape & Tag" steps:
- Mark area around the remains with an appropriate length of "Caution: Zombie Outbreak Zone" tape.
- Attached a Form 2BD tag to the toe of the corpse.
Zombie Attack Notification
This zone has been categorized as Class D in danger of zombie infestation. Zombies have been reported in nearby areas. The following information may increase your chances of survival.
A. Use caution and common sense.
Do no panic! your most crucial step is preparation. Keep food, water, weapons, and reliable transportation close at hand, and remain observant. Know the best way to fortify your residence and office, and know the escape routes. If your location becomes infested, flee to the nearest secure location, avoiding contact with the undead.
B. Stop the spread of contagion.
In case of a wound from the living dead, amputate the area if possible and cauterize it immediately. If amputation is not possible, sterilize and cauterize the wound. Keep the wounded person under close surveillance, quarantined in a secure confined area. Do not leave dead bodies unattended until secured. To secure a dead body, cautiously remove the head by severing it at the neck with a sharp implement.
C. Defend yourself when necessary.
If flight is not possible, do not hesitate to eliminate the undead. Remember, undead former friends and family members are no longer living. Zombie attackers are animated corpses, no people. Use ranged weapons for safety whenever possible, and have several backup weapons on hand. Always aim for the head, and do not approach a felled corpse if the had is intact.
A. Use caution and common sense.
Do no panic! your most crucial step is preparation. Keep food, water, weapons, and reliable transportation close at hand, and remain observant. Know the best way to fortify your residence and office, and know the escape routes. If your location becomes infested, flee to the nearest secure location, avoiding contact with the undead.
B. Stop the spread of contagion.
In case of a wound from the living dead, amputate the area if possible and cauterize it immediately. If amputation is not possible, sterilize and cauterize the wound. Keep the wounded person under close surveillance, quarantined in a secure confined area. Do not leave dead bodies unattended until secured. To secure a dead body, cautiously remove the head by severing it at the neck with a sharp implement.
C. Defend yourself when necessary.
If flight is not possible, do not hesitate to eliminate the undead. Remember, undead former friends and family members are no longer living. Zombie attackers are animated corpses, no people. Use ranged weapons for safety whenever possible, and have several backup weapons on hand. Always aim for the head, and do not approach a felled corpse if the had is intact.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Zombie Alphabet
Hello, Abnormals! Because we care about your education, we have decided that it's time for you to study something very important... of course, I'm talking about the Alphabet. But with your survival in mind, we have decided to focus on a much more practical type of alphabet... The Zombie Alphabet!
"A" is for Apocalypse, the end of days.
"B" is for Brain, it's all I can say.
"C" is for Corpse, a body destroyed.
"D" is for Death, who's now unemployed.
"E" is for Extinction, of the human race.
"F" is for Flesh, torn off your face.
"G" is for Grave, out of which I'll crawl.
"H" is for Hunger, for eating you all.
"I" is for Infection, the way that we spread.
"J" is for Jawbone, that fell off my head.
"K" is for Kid, with blank, eerie looks.
"L" is for Lovecraft, who wrote creepy books.
"M" is for Mutant, all big, gross and furious.
"N" is for Necronomicon, a tome oh-so mysterious.
"O" is for Outbreak, from a cow, rat or monkey.
"P" is for Parasite, that made them all funky.
"Q" is for Quarantine, that everybody trespasses.
"R" is for Romero, a man with big glasses.
"S" is for Shotgun, with an attached flashlight.
"T" is for Thriller, 'cause this is thriller night.
"U" is for Undead, but neither alive.
"V" is for Voodoo, with Caribbean jive.
"W" is for Wasteland, where life is always tough.
"X" is for Xenobiology, as if things weren't bad enough.
"Y" is for You, with a scream pitched so high.
'cause "Z" is for Zombie, and the end is nigh!
"A" is for Apocalypse, the end of days.
"B" is for Brain, it's all I can say.
"C" is for Corpse, a body destroyed.
"D" is for Death, who's now unemployed.
"E" is for Extinction, of the human race.
"F" is for Flesh, torn off your face.
"G" is for Grave, out of which I'll crawl.
"H" is for Hunger, for eating you all.
"I" is for Infection, the way that we spread.
"J" is for Jawbone, that fell off my head.
"K" is for Kid, with blank, eerie looks.
"L" is for Lovecraft, who wrote creepy books.
"M" is for Mutant, all big, gross and furious.
"N" is for Necronomicon, a tome oh-so mysterious.
"O" is for Outbreak, from a cow, rat or monkey.
"P" is for Parasite, that made them all funky.
"Q" is for Quarantine, that everybody trespasses.
"R" is for Romero, a man with big glasses.
"S" is for Shotgun, with an attached flashlight.
"T" is for Thriller, 'cause this is thriller night.
"U" is for Undead, but neither alive.
"V" is for Voodoo, with Caribbean jive.
"W" is for Wasteland, where life is always tough.
"X" is for Xenobiology, as if things weren't bad enough.
"Y" is for You, with a scream pitched so high.
'cause "Z" is for Zombie, and the end is nigh!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Zombie Science
Defect: Slow moving zombies
Cause: Damage to the cerebellum, zombies exhibit sever ataxia and thus will be slow and uncoordinated.
Out-run them!
Defect: Amnesia
Cause: Lose of the hippocampus has caused the zombie to have very short memory spans. Take advantage of this by hiding.
Keep quiet, wait it out!
Defect: Immunity to pain
Cause: Due to damage to the parietal cortices, zombies can't feel pain; if you can't kill them by damaging the brainstem, don't try to fight them. They won't feel a thing.
Don't fight them!
Defect: Easily distracted
Cause: Lose of the posterior parietal cortices has lead to a difficulty for zombies to coordinate hand-eye movements, an inability to visually fixate, and an inability to perceive more than one object at a time. Take advantage of their distractibility!
Distract them!
Defect: Misconceptions
Cause: Zombies appear to exhibit a form of Capgras delusion. If the zombie's ataxia isn't enough to allow you to outrun it, you may wish to act like a zombie until you can escape. Mimicking in-group zombie behaviors may buy you critical moments!
Mimick them!
Cause: Damage to the cerebellum, zombies exhibit sever ataxia and thus will be slow and uncoordinated.
Out-run them!
Defect: Amnesia
Cause: Lose of the hippocampus has caused the zombie to have very short memory spans. Take advantage of this by hiding.
Keep quiet, wait it out!
Defect: Immunity to pain
Cause: Due to damage to the parietal cortices, zombies can't feel pain; if you can't kill them by damaging the brainstem, don't try to fight them. They won't feel a thing.
Don't fight them!
Defect: Easily distracted
Cause: Lose of the posterior parietal cortices has lead to a difficulty for zombies to coordinate hand-eye movements, an inability to visually fixate, and an inability to perceive more than one object at a time. Take advantage of their distractibility!
Distract them!
Defect: Misconceptions
Cause: Zombies appear to exhibit a form of Capgras delusion. If the zombie's ataxia isn't enough to allow you to outrun it, you may wish to act like a zombie until you can escape. Mimicking in-group zombie behaviors may buy you critical moments!
Mimick them!
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