Zombie Scenario

How did it happen? There are a few ways this could've happened:

Maybe the zombies came from another planet. Maybe some asshole read a spell book that made the dead come back to life. Maybe someone fucked up at the Pet Cemetery. But the most likely and popular way for a zombie outbreak to happen is to have a mad scientist, well... go mad. He was probably mixing chemicals that were clearly marked "Do Not Mix" while smoking hookah and watching Telemundo. The he gave some of the liquid to his pet gorilla, chimpanzee, tiger, or turtle to test it. When the test subject of choice started foaming at the mouth and had its eyes turn red, the genius with his Ph.D. didn't call the police. He probably just let it out thinking it needed some fresh air. Then...

Bam! The scientist was bit, and now he's a zombie.

Just a few short weeks later, 6 million people have become infected with ZV-10 (Zombie Virus 2010), and the number is growing rapidly. You are one of the very few survivors.

So what should you do?

Well, if you're not a complete idiot, you should already be prepared for this. You should have a huge arsenal of weapons, ammo, and some kind of cover (like a bunker). If no, then you need to hurry your ass up and get something... quick. A baseball bat, an axe, a shovel, a crowbar... these all work. But they're slow, and they don't guarantee a kill.

If you need protection, here's what to consider:

If you're fast, I would recommend something small and lightweight, like a handgun. They're comfortable and you can take them anywhere easily.

If you're on the larger side, get something that'll let let you mow down zombies left and right with ease. A rifle should do the trick. Pick up something basic like an AR-15. They're rapid fire and strong enough to stop a good-sized gang of zombies.

If you're just plain bad-ass, then get yourself a 12-gauge shotgun. Sure, they're slow and big, but dammit you're not goin' down while looking like a nancy boy with a .22 caliber pistol in your hand. Note: Don't be a hero. If you don't think you're bad-ass enough for a shotgun, don't use one.

Where should you go? Isolation and walls are key.

The worst thing you can do is stay in your house. Houses have thin walls, weak doors, and windows. Don't go thinking you'll just board it up and kick it there. Zombies will tear right through that. What you need to do is get away... far away. While zombies are fast, they don't know how to drive. So get all the necessary supplies (food, water, weapons, Playboys, etc.), throw them in your car, and get the hell out of there. And you probably don't have to worry about speed limits at this point.

Now here's where it gets tricky.

If you live in a coastal state, then you have a much better chance of surviving. All you lucky bastards have to do is find a boat dock, steal a boat, and find the nearest island. You can build a small house there and live off your dehydrated food and water until it's safe to return. Just remember, it'll be first come, first serve for the boats. So don't drag your feet.

For those of you living in a landlocked state, well... shit happens. Finding protection won't be as easy for you. Assuming you don't have the time or resources to drive to the nearest coast right away, the smartest thing to do would be to find a place underground. If you can find a concrete bunker with thick walls and a beefy door, you should be fine. Being up high might work too, but good luck finding anything at you can live in for weeks or months at a time.

 So you've got your hiding place... Are you safe? Not necessarily.

Zombies don't only bite humans. They'll want to bite whatever moves. So think birds, dogs, cats, and even fish. You better be practicing your shot with those guns you picked up, because birds aren't the easiest things in the world to shoot. Especially when they've become mentally insane due to ZV-10.

And hey you, on that island over there, think twice before taking a dip in the ocean. Those fish could be infected, and they just might be looking for a victim.

Mosquitoes are your biggest enemy (next to the zombies, of course).

Mosquitoes suck blood. Guess how ZV-10 is transferred? If you guessed blood, then you might just survive this thing (but probably not). Unfortunately, mosquitoes can fly. So, just because you made it to that island 20 miles offshore doesn't mean you're completely safe. You better watch out for those pesky mosquitoes. You thought they were annoying before? Well shit just got real. I have no idea if insect repellent will work against zombies, but you should lather up just in case.

You survived!

Somehow you managed to make it through all the hordes of zombies, mosquitoes, birds, fish, and whatever else got in your way.

Way to fucking go! But now what? Rebuild, repopulate, reconquer.

You better hope a woman was able to survive all this. Without one, there's no chance to save the once thriving human race.

Should you find a woman to help repopulate the Earth, don't fuck it up.

Now's your chance to fix what was wrong with the world. You and your woman will be the leaders of the society you build. Teach that society values that will make the world a better place. Create the world that we all want to live in, but are unable to. You have the power to fix what was broken.