Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Surviving Infestation

In the event of zombie attack follow these 3 steps to surviving infestation.

1. Avoidance

All zombie infestations render the location uninhabitable. The citizen's first duty is to vacate the area and proceed immediately to an authorized Rescue Station. Duly authorized Zombie Emergency Response Operations (Z.E.R.O.) personnel will manage relocation, but the key to an effective evacuation is complete avoidance of hazardous conditions while en route.

  • Evacuate: Gather family and essential small valuables only. Do not attempt to secure or defend property or possessions.
  • Relocate: Proceed to the Rescue Station assigned to your area. In the absence of Z.E.R.O. Relocation Management personnel, monitor local radio broadcasts for directions.
  • Do No Engage: It is critical to remember that any zombies encountered during relocation are not family or friends but reanimated corpses infected with a deadly contagion. Under no circumstances should you engage on in any kind of interaction. Contagion is transmitted via a bite, and any interaction with a zombie results in repeated attempts to bite.
  • In the Event of a Bite: Apply pressure to the wound with padding found in the supplied bite kit until proper medical supervision can be accessed. If the wounded individual expires after being bitten, vacate the premises immediately or execute guidelines found in the next section.
2. Termination

Engage this step only if in an unsecured location, and only if you have positively identified a zombie by using the Zombie Classification Cards. Otherwise, any terminations should be referred to and executed by a duly authorized member of Z.E.R.O. or your local licensed Zombie Exterminator.
  • Cerebral Neutralization: The only known method for effectively terminating a zombie, either by cranial penetration or blunt force trauma or decapitation.
  • Center Mass: For stopping or slowing down target only when distance does not permit a head shot. Not an effective termination method.
  • Lower Extremities: For stopping or slowing down target only when distance dos not permit a head shot. Not an effective termination method.
3. Disposal

After terminating the zombie(s), mark the perimeter to enable Z.E.R.O. Disposal Unit personnel to locate the remains and ship to a Mobile Acid Disintegration (M.A.D.) unit for disintegration. This can be completed in two simple "Tape & Tag" steps:
  1. Mark area around the remains with an appropriate length of "Caution: Zombie Outbreak Zone" tape.
  2. Attached a Form 2BD tag to the toe of the corpse.
Do Not Incinerate: Incineration releases airborne toxins which spread infection to the uninterred deceased or, in areas of heavy humidity or precipitation, the recently deceased. This exponentially increases infestation levels.

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