Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Zombie Attack Notification

This zone has been categorized as Class D in danger of zombie infestation. Zombies have been reported in nearby areas. The following information may increase your chances of survival.

A. Use caution and common sense.

Do no panic! your most crucial step is preparation. Keep food, water, weapons, and reliable transportation close at hand, and remain observant. Know the best way to fortify your residence and office, and know the escape routes. If your location becomes infested, flee to the nearest secure location, avoiding contact with the undead.

B. Stop the spread of contagion.

In case of a wound from the living dead, amputate the area if possible and cauterize it immediately. If amputation is not possible, sterilize and cauterize the wound. Keep the wounded person under close surveillance, quarantined in a secure confined area. Do not leave dead bodies unattended until secured. To secure a dead body, cautiously remove the head by severing it at the neck with a sharp implement.

C. Defend yourself when necessary.

If flight is not possible, do not hesitate to eliminate the undead. Remember, undead former friends and family members are no longer living. Zombie attackers are animated corpses, no people. Use ranged weapons for safety whenever possible, and have several backup weapons on hand. Always aim for the head, and do not approach a felled corpse if the had is intact.

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